CARDRUNNERS

December 17, 2008

a winter wonderland

Today started off pretty neat. I woke up at like 10am, came downstairs, ate a bowl of some weird healthy cereal stuff, and then played a game of dota. We lost. I have been playing dota quite a lot lately. For those of you who are part of the uninitiated, DOTA is the greatest game on the planet, and it isn’t even a real game. It is a mod, or custom game, based off of Warcraft 3. I am pretty sure DOTA is bigger than wc3, and there are definitely more tournaments and such. I am on a CAL team, we have done pretty good so far. Yay.

 

So after this, I packed up my bags and went to naked fish with my old roommate long time ago Dustin. We ate a lot of sushi and made fun of people we didn’t like, and talked lots of mess about live poker pros and how funny they look/smell. It was snowing during all of this. I had to get to the airport for my flight home, and we powerslid(slided?) around turns for fun.

 

At the airport, I figured my flight would get delayed due to snow in Las Vegas. This is something that isn’t exactly a common situation. Anyways, I walk STRAIGHT past the auntie annes, I could sniff out that pretzel bitch from a mile away. I knew she was waiting there to tell me I couldn’t have salt on my pretzel dog. I decided that today was the first day of my new conservative lifestyle. I have been saying that every day for the last 2 months.

 

Last night I went to yard house in honor of Mikey’s last night in vegas. He finally graduated from college (congrats) and is moving back home to Maryland or somewhere rainy with crabs. I went there not hungry at all, and was planning on getting some lettuce wraps in honor of conservative lifestylism. Unfortunately, an order for coconut shrimp found its way to sweet Audrie’s steno pad. Unfortunately, an order for a bbq bacon cheese burger made its way there too. A few rogue hazelnut browns found their way in front of me as well. I couldn’t control this. I blame tom. Upon finishing this greasy, delicious heaven meal, 2 gigando skillet brownies with extra ice cream were placed in the center of the table. Everyone ate like birds and I probably shoved 1.25 brownies and 4 scoops of ice cream into my gullet. I didn’t order these. I made it a point NOT to order these, but someone must have sneaked it in. Tricky tricky bastards they are.

 

Back to the airport. Las Vegas got 4 inches of snow. There was snow on top of airplanes. On my way home, there were children SLEDDING down the hills on the golf course. My flight was obviously canceled after 4 hours of delays, so I went outside to find a cab. Unfortunately, the other 138,392 flights that were canceled this day all were canceled before mine, making the line pretty dang darn long. I went to the limo area and there was an hour wait so I said blehh and got in line for a cab. I didn’t have my jacket because my bags were checked and I was too lazy to get them seeing as I had to be back up here at 7am for my flight.

 

While standing in line, a boy that appeared to be no older than 5 threw a snowball at my leg. It was a very wet, sloppy, dirty snowball. He had a shit eating grin on his face as he did it. His parents payed him no heed. I secretly wished I could drop kick him into a giant puddle. I decided this would be a good time to practice meditation. I counted 23 breaths, nice, calm, delicious breaths that made me forget the cold and the sop soaking through my pant leg. At the beginning of breath 24, demon child struck again. Fortunately for him, his mother noticed, and was very apologetic. I secretly wished I could drop kick him into traffic. As I was imagining his look of fear as the taxi came barreling towards him, the greatest thing on the planet happened. Demon child slipped on some ice, fell on his face, and started crying. An evil grin crept across my face, the subdued satisfaction of justice in the world served.

 

I think my goal for the rest of the year is to get as fat as humanly possible. This way, when my shoulder heals and I can start working out again, and start eating super clean once more, it will look like a much bigger difference than it actually is. I just got my power rack set up in my house, but I refuse to use it until I get back from all of my trips. I have lots of travels in the next few weeks, and lots of desserts to eat. I love winter.

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