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David Benefield : Poker Blog

November 24, 2008

Daut was talking a lot about BJJ, so I wanted to share a fun experience today with everyone. I am back in TX, so am working out at Travis Lutter’s, and most of the days we roll with gis on. All of the experience I have comes from an MMA school where I guess they teach ‘sport’ jiu jitsu, with an emphasis on setting stuff up for face smashing, as well as submissions that work on slippery arms, necks, legs, whatever.

My first day back to Lutter’s I got caught in about 6 stupid rigged horse crap neck gi chokes where you basically reach behind and grab the cloth at the back of the neck, and then reach an arm under, crossing the arms, and rotate the hands causing the gi to choke the person out. It was probably the most frustrating, annoying thing to deal with on the planet, because these no talent ass clowns would just crush me with their trickery.

Anyways, I managed to pull off some good stuff involving getting in side control and trapping their arm under my legs basically letting me have my way with their other arm to set up kimuras or the occasional step over head triangle from top (which didn’t work out so well, but oh god if it did I would look super cool). I felt cool because I don’t think they really drill that kinda stuff too hard in traditional BJJ, so it may have been something even the purple belts had never seen before, though I am sure the instructors have.

Today, I did all of my drilling and most of my rolling with a blue belt who was about my height, but weighed prob 240, though its entirely possible he weighed more. At one point, he was trying to catch me in an arm bar and we got into a very fun position for both people where my face is basically in his nuts, and vice versa. He then proceeded to rip the most disgustingly raunchy fart I have ever experienced the discomfort of being around. He quickly rolled off and sort of sat there looking all embarrassed, while I gave him a look of disbelief mixed with disgust and agony at being trapped under a 240 pound man in that position.

I told him not to worry, and it was a natural bodily function and he was just a little stressed out so relieved it by farting, and he sort of laughed uncomfortably. We continued about 5 minutes later, after the fulmination had time to dissipate, and he proceeded to suffocate me more, this time with the trickery of having 65 pounds on me. Honestly, against someone that knows what they are doing vs someone that doesn’t really, I don’t have much of a chance. He kept requesting that I start in his guard, at which point he would easily sweep me into mount, and I would sit there gasping for breath until the inevitable bullshit neck choke.

I want to go back to the fart, and explain in more detail what happened. I was starting in guard the whole time, and obviously he just reaches up and grabs my gi and pulls me down, then tries to set up arm bars or sweep me. He got the arm bar in by clutching onto my gi (has anyone noticed I am not a fan of gis? I have a private lesson tomorrow to become more adept at this), and somehow he got me on the ground on my back, but he couldn’t get me to release my arms. As this was going on, he was sitting up, and I shrimped a bit and got on my right shoulder (he was attacking right arm) and I stepped my left leg over his head, and locked it under my other leg in a triangle around his neck, but coming from the opposite angle than normal. I started stretching out to get it tight, at which point he released his gaseous explosion. I like to think the reason he did it was because he didn’t want to get tapped by a skinny white belt. I am not really sure if I could have gotten him in that position, but it felt like I was getting the triangle in tight, and it was right around his neck even though from the wrong side, and probably looked pretty cool, which is always fun bonus points.

Anyways, I just wanted to ramble about that a bit. I am also getting a lot better, and it is about 100x more fun when you learn some techniques and can actually catch people in stuff on occasion. I need to get in better shape though, as usually I can give a good 2-3 minutes of good hard rolling before I start to gas out a bit, especially if it’s a bigger guy. I try to mostly work out with the bigger guys so I have to really get my technique down and cant just throw people around, but I am way out of shape for being able to go for over 5 minutes or so. What daut was saying about staying calm etc also makes it easier to maintain energy. If you are flopping and flailing around when a giant behemoth is on top of you smothering you, it is easy to run out of steam. Being in control will definitely help, and I need to work on that.

I haven’t really played much poker in the last few days, though I did get in a quick 25-50 sesh on stars. The once mighty take chip has devolved into an overagg call station (if that makes sense) that stacks off much too light vs me, and he slid a few stacks my way helping to pad my month a bit. I just haven’t really felt like playing, and games haven’t been particularly great, so I have been hanging out with friends and trying to get my ass in shape.

On a diet front, I am not exactly in top form. Saturday we went to simply fondue, which is just absolute heaven on earth as far as food goes, and is a great setup for hanging out with a good group of people. We had a group of 7, and got 4 different cheeses, every meat on the menu, and 4 different chocolates. I ate until sickness, which I seem to have a problem with when I go out to restaurants. I can’t seem to control myself when deliciousness is put in front of me. When I don’t order food or go out I eat super clean super great, but I just love eating so much, I dno.

Tonight I picked up season 1 of the wire, and Haley brought over Mellow Mushroom, which is some of the best pizza I have ever had. I obviously ate too much and passed out after watching only 1 episode. Everyone has been talking lately about what a great show the wire is, best on tv blah blah come off it. I watched like 4 eps of season 1 like 3-4 years ago and just remember it being slow. Apparently it picks up a lot and theres a lot of character development, so I am giving it a second chance now. Just what I need, another show to eat up a week of my time. It does rank up there on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, so maybe that plays a part.

Me and tony, one of my roommates out in vegas, have a lot of talks about the whole mentality as far as food, working out, spending money, whatever, the thing ‘ok TOMORROW starts the first day of my new conservative lifestyle’ and how he/we/lots of people say that every day, then don’t do shit about it. I want to say right now, that tomorrow I will start eating super clean and healthy again, but I know its probably not true. It is the holiday season, a bunch of my buddies are in town for thanksgiving, and I will probably go out a bunch, eat crappy food, and drink quite a lot. The best thing I can say is I will do jiu jitsu a bunch, which is a really good work out. This should keep me in check a bit.

I am going on a cruise at the end of December, so was planning on getting in really good shape, but quite frankly I just love food too much and am not going to want to be super healthy when all the deliciousness surrounds me. I will likely eat 1 crap meal a day, and keep the rest super clean. I think it is the best I can do for now, seeing how I have such little self control in this regard at the moment. I do well on occasion, but as soon as I start eating unhealthy even a little bit, it opens up a floodgate. It is funny, because like, otday for example, my meals go,

Oatmeal with almonds and half a sliced banana

Cup of green tea

Apple in car on way back from jiu jitsu

Protein shake with 1.5 scoops whey, half tbsp peanut butter, half banana, 2 tbsp ground flax seed

6 guava slices

GIANT ENORMOUS FAT MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA NOM NOM

Food coma

I am just sort of rambling without much coherent thought or purpose, trying to acknowledge my own weakness in regard to food, even though I have shown enormous control in the recent past. Anyways, I am getting sort of tired, so am going to go watch a couple eps of the wire, and try to pay attention and get into it. I really don’t think I have heard a single person say it sucks, with MANY saying it is the greatest show on TV. So, here we go.

-David Benefield

Entry Tags:

Nov 25, 08 02:39:17

WAIT TILL WIRE SEASON 2

It does start slow but gets better - also Deadwood is sick in case you never checked that out.

LesW

Nov 25, 08 05:08:11

The Wire is much more enjoyable once you get to know the characters. I watched the first 4 seasons in like 6 weeks and just getting onto the 5th now.

Heineken23

Nov 25, 08 07:50:23

TJngSB's

Tony is eating a sonic blast right now as we read your blog and laff at you, BUT, tommorrow its on Dave... Also, Miles misses you so much he took a giant shit right in fornt of your door... That is all -- carry on...

drunkpplaya

Nov 25, 08 09:45:27

The Wire is pretty addictive although it starts to wane a little in the last couple seasons.

ornycjv

Nov 25, 08 14:27:13

i just got my roommate started on the wire. he can't stop now...

join the club.

DrSatisfaction

Nov 26, 08 09:48:03

The Wire is awesome, but be patient, it is slow at first. And lol at trying to start eating healthy day before Thanksgiving.

Stinger885

Nov 26, 08 21:06:40

"I can't seem to control myself when deliciousness is put in front of me."

This is the best sentence ever written in the English language.

jtphila

Nov 27, 08 07:39:28

hey dave, as a brazilian and a bjj fighter I can say those gi chokes are quite easy to defend against, Once you keep practicing with gis I'm sure you will rather use them than not..........

gmeibak