CARDRUNNERS

What's Your Edge

ezmogee's Poker Blog

July 01, 2009

“And, Ezra, where are you from?”

“I’ve been a bit nomadic lately. So I don’t even know where to call home.”

I knew I should’ve just said New York. New York. Everyone’s from New York. Nothing to see here.

“Sounds exciting…which places?”

“My parents are in Washington, DC. I went to school in New York, and I’ve spent the last two years splitting my time between New York City, Chicago, and Las Vegas.”

They always hone in on Vegas. Why do I even say it? This guy has two dozen cousins in New York, a grandmother and an aunt in Chicago, and has never gambled in his life. But, invariably, I know what’s coming.

“Wowww, Las Vegas. What’s in Las Vegas? Business or pleasure?”

I really can’t deny it. I now consider Las Vegas one of my homes. Having spent each of the past three summers in Las Vegas, with an additional four or five trips to the city annually, I feel like a local. I prefer many of the off-strip restaurants. I prefer the smaller casinos intended for local residents instead of tourists. I know the layout of the city – from Sahara to Desert Inn, to Maryland and Eastern…the airport intersects at Russell.

In my new life as a student at an ultra-orthodox Yeshiva in Jerusalem, I’ve largely managed to evade the personal questions about my life. No one here knows about my poker prowess. I’ve let on to a few people that I play poker, that I’ve worked in the gambling industry – but I just want to be a normal kid on a journey of self-awareness. I don’t want to be defined as “that poker kid.”

Inevitably, someone will Google my name. Someone will find this blog. I’m not hiding anything. Hell, I miss talking about poker every day. But I’m also curious to see how I’m received as a normal boy, as Ezra. How people engage with me, unaware that I’ve won and lost their annual salary many times over.

Today, I happened to be holding something that referenced an online poker room. The student next to me asked if I played online poker. “A little, why?” Oh nothing much. “My friend is really good – he made two thousand dollars online.”

I chuckled a little inside.

Yet, despite my attempts to project a new person, I may be failing. I am having trouble connecting to most of the students here. And I wonder if it might be because no one actually knows who I am. Poker has been such a major element of my life over the past four years that to suggest its involvement is merely “a little” is really doing a disservice to anyone trying to get to know the real me.

Perhaps the real me isn’t a “normal kid.” Is it even possible to be normal? Poker is so ingrained in my being that it affects the way I see the world. It affects my perceptions of money, it affects the way I see people, friends, combatants, the future. It affects the way I think.

I don’t really have a plan moving forward. All I can admit is that I’m really proud of who I am. I'm proud of how I think. And how I see the world. And hopefully the people around me, when given more intimate information, will respect me for it too.

Love,
Ezra Moses

Entry Tags:

Jul 1, 09 21:09:13

I'm sure they will. You have an incredible story that should be shared. GL with school.

Hokulea

Jul 2, 09 08:14:24

meh. most of the guys will love you for it and want to hear all the stories. the women will run away until they figure out how much money you make.

kennyg

Jul 2, 09 15:32:53

i just googled this blog. nothing to see here

Zaitsev