CardRunners

I think that if you are a long time reader of my drivel, you will instantly be familiar with this post's content. As I recall, I made the same post about a year ago. Please, read on.

My sister, who lives in San Jose, is home for the holidays. Whenever she visits we all go out to eat. This includes my parents, wife, brother and his wife, sister, and great aunt Lillian (who is more grandmother than aunt). Aunt Lillian is in her late 80's and enjoys taking us all out to a nice (for podunk South Dakota anyway) restaurant. So off we go to a $40 a person sort of joint that serves steaks, pasta, seafood and more. $40 a plate is a LOT in South Dakota. This is not a t-shirt and jeans type of eatery. It is also not a place where you bring kids, which is why I left mine with a babysitter.

At 6:15 we picked up my other great aunt who was joining us and who happens to be a nun. The reservation was at 6:30 and we wanted to be early (great aunts are like that). We got there and, of course, stood and waited for my, always late, family. They rolled in about 6:35, with my brother and his wife coming in about 15 minutes later. I had already almost finished my first drink...

By 7pm my brother's 5 year old daughter (who was in a t-shirt and jeans) had her first fit. She ended up throwing herself on the floor. They ignored her, so she sat in the walkway for about an hour, give or take five minutes. My kid is not perfect, not by a long shot. But if she had done that, two things would have happened:
1. I would have taken her to the lobby or bathroom.
2. I would have beaten her ass.

She is only two years old and knows better than to do this sort of shit. This kid is five...sigh....

The place is swamped and has several large parties. The waiter, who was wonderful, apologized and said our food would be awhile.

"Amstel Light please!"

I had a pepper steak (beef tenderloin encrusted with cracked peppercorns) ordered "bloody" with a bearnaise sauce and fettuccine alfredo with mushrooms. It was wonderful. The rest of the table also seemed happy with their food. Except the kid. Her pizza had pepper on it. Well, it was actually a bit of burned cornmeal (very common on wood roasted pizza). So she refused to eat. This did not stop her parents from ordering her a chocolate cake/ice cream desert thingy. But I am getting ahead of myself!

My sister, bless her heart, is somewhat bombastic and not all that proper. She spent the second half of the evening entertaining my niece. The thought was nice, but I am not all to sure that causing a child to shriek with laughter is the most appropriate thing for the setting. At least she did not chase her around the table like at the last family outting.

Have you ever been to a place, or seen it in a movie, maybe, where there is a big family that is "just off the farm"? They are wearing pressed blue jeans and dad has on his best bolo tie. Hell, he even washed the '86 Caddy before they rolled into town. That is how I feel with my family at times. It is like I am the only one with a clue how you should act in public. I love them all with all of my heart, but events like this cause a massive searing tilt to start at my tailbone and eventually encompass my entire torso before crippling my mind.

sigh

-Jeff

I figured I should get that blog from earlier this afternoon pushed down one spot. The thought to delete it crossed my mind, but I think it is a good reminder of how crazy people can be over sports. I was on serious life tilt and almost crushed my entire basement on several occasions.

Before I kick into the obligatory resolution list, I want to let you all know that my next blog will be Christmas pics. Included are a photo journal of my three hour, middle of the night, assembly of my kids present, early morning snapshots of my very tired wife, and other joyous stuff the nobody will care about whatsoever.

This year I have five things I really want to work on. They should all be totally achievable, and I am already working diligently on a couple...

1. Become more organized: I have made huge strides in this the last 3 or 4 months, specifically since the inception of the coaching forum and my appointment to head it. I have a bit to go, but I think in the next little while I can become a paragon of organizational virtue.

2. Play some freaking poker: I have some goals written down for 2009. All are pretty reasonable, but I need to push myself some to reach them. There are no more excuses - I have lots of time to play now. It is simply a matter of doing it.

3. No drinking until May 1: This includes any and all alcohol, period. I have not really been drinking a ton lately or anything (not even once a week mostly). I just want to remind myself that I don't need beer or booze to have fun. A lot of my friends drink a lot and now that I have more time, I want to avoid that trap. Plus, my waistline is an ongoing issue. This is one thing I can easily cut out.

4. Zero fast food until May 1: This includes all traditional fast food joints (McDonald's, Burger King, etc.). If a situation arises where I am obligated to eat somewhere like this (family outings with the in-laws are often to McDonald's, for example) I will stick to grilled chicken. That should not come up often, but it does occur. I can not commit to giving up all my favorite foods. But I can eat better and eat out less. This will save me fat and a shit load of cash.

5. Be a better husband and father: While I love my family, I sometimes become absentee. Anybody that knows me, knows that I spend a lot of time in front of my computer working. Lee has told me to take time off, or to work less, a half dozen times the last couple of months. I guess it is just not in my nature to do so. If I don't do anything else with myself the next 12 months, I HAVE to follow through with this. I love my wife and daughter too much not to give them the time they so richly deserve.

-Jeff

One of my friend's wives put this little ditty together. I am the one in the white beanie. FWIW, that pic was taken at a Halloween party a couple years ago and I was really really really drunk. Also, that is my real body. I have been a Chippendale, on the side, for years.

imo

Enjoy...

Note: Video is not super fast to load. Actually, it does not always seem to work. Here is a direct link: sendables.jibjab.com/view/XpM8znRGFhwESQcLxuzq

It is obvious that I ether need to become a poker savant or write a better blog, because my hits are abysmal. I did so well a couple months ago. Looks like my layoff cost me some readership. Also, my life is boring as fuck.

I started my first full day with CardRunners by sleeping in bit  before going to a local appliance store - our clothes dryer was out of commission and I needed to buy a new thermal fuse. Being handy is sooooo nice. I spent $10 and about 30 minutes of my time to fix the dryer. The guy at the store told me it would be a ~$100 service call.

The rest of my day has been spent working, specifically getting more intimate with Zendesk, our new support software. I usually go into things with a very open mind, and this has been no different. I like it so far but it is more cumbersome to use than what I am used to. My strong suspicion is that in a couple of weeks I will not even remember that we used the old system, and that Zendesk will really shine at doing what it was designed to do.

Before ppl think I lied in the blog title, I should get to my trip report. Without further ado...

Saturday I did a bunch of shit around the house and got in some time on CR. While I was doing that, several of my friends decided to drink. Kent, Joe, Jamie, and Camille went to our local haunt, Lagers, and played this kick ass new mini-golf game (it is made by the same developer as Golden Tee, so it has a strong pedigree). About 4pm I stopped by for a quick bump before I ran some errands. They were already all at least 6-8 drinks deep and well on the way to a train wreck.

Here is how drunk Kent was... I walked in and went to say hi to the bartender who is a friend of mine. When I asked how drunk the crew was he said, "Kent already a mess." So I went back there to see for myself. Within 2 minutes Jow leaned over and whispered, "Kent is haaaaaaammered." About 4 minutes later, Jamie came over and told me that, "Kent is going to be a mess tonight." And finally, Camille chimed in by saying, "Kent is really drunk."

My wife and I left the house to get some dinner at a Mexican joint before the party. They were having hours devours, but we wanted something more substantial. I cannot think of a better pre-drinking thing to eat than refried beans...so Mexican it was! I had already had a couple drinks between Lagers and a Coors Light while showering (if you take the lid off of a can of Gillette shaving gel it fits PERFECTLY on the top of a beer can...perfect for keeping soap/water out of the beer when you are showering) so a Dos Equis was sounding extremely appetizing. The waiter asked me if I wanted the "big one" when I requested a tap. The obvious was obvious. I can't really be sure how big the mug was, but if it wasn't at least 36 ounces I'll produce then post a narrated video of myself making love to a rose bush.

We made the party about 7pm. It was great to see everybody made it due to a lucky stroke - the weather had been predicted to be terrible but held out. I instantly dove for the Forty Creek (a solid and delicious Canadian whiskey), mixing myself a rather stiff cocktail. The next 4 hours were spent visiting and drinking. A pool game or two also broke out, which was fun, considering our intoxicated states. 

About 11pm eight of us headed to a bar for karaoke. I don't sing, so I headed for the pool table while one of my cohorts sang the following gem:

We had made it all the way until last weekend nearly snow free. That ended with a wonderful little 8-10" on the surrounding area. Fortunately there were also 40 mph winds to make it drift up real nice and pretty. South Dakota weather FTW.

I spent last Sunday evening fixing my brother Eric's truck because he was a big enough dumb ass to attempt to drive through some of the aforementioned 5 foot tall drifts. 1990's era Ford pickups are famous for losing their serpentine belts when you go through deep snow, a feat Eric accomplished with aplomb. I'll give you all a tip - replacing a belt on a 1994 F150, especially when there are -35 degree wind chills, fucking sucks. Once we got that fixed I spent an hour doing an initial clean of my driveway. On Monday night I spent a good 90 minutes doing it all again, including the end of the driveway where the snowplows and made a nice thick, heavy, frozen windrow. Daut, I feel your pain!

Why the diatribe about snow? Mother nature saw fit to gift us with another 3 or 4 inches overnight. In all honesty, it is beautiful, but dammit, I do not want to go out and shovel right now... The forecast calls for 30mph winds and a windchill of about -40, which excites me further still. I should not whine though, it was supposed to snow all day today, so no complaints I guess.

As I mentioned a blog or two back, tonight is my company Christmas party. It looks like everybody will be there, which is awesome. My wife and I have kind of been at each others throats for a few days, so hopefully the time relaxing will help out. The issue, as it has been for months, is that I am working too much. Basically I was working from 9-6 at the car job then hitting CR from 10-2 most nights. On the weekends I spend as much time as I can with my daughter (and another 4-6 hours each day working), so the relationship with my wife has been fairly nonexistent. All the time we spend with each other, we are also sharing with the kid. It was nobodies fault...the circumstance dictated it. Well, now that I am done doing the two jobs thing, I can get back to a normal freaking life again. I think my marriage will be better for it. Also, sleep.

Other byproducts of the reduced schedule will be just as awesome:
1. I will get to all coaching emails much faster than the 12-16 hour turnaround we were operating at. This should increase coach and student satisfaction significantly. I'll certainly be much more proud of the product with the higher level of customer service that will be offered.
2. I can blog again! Hell, I am even updating Facebook for the first time in my life.
3. My HUGE backlog of books, Movies, TV and PS3 will finally get chipped away at.
4. POKER, AND LOTS OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I keep going on and on about this whole deal, but I feel like a 10,000 pound weight is off my shoulders.

OK, I am off for now. I'll get a trip report about the Christmas party up tomorrow, or tonight, if I am drunk and frisky. In fact, I am going to have a beer right now.

Cheers,
Jeff

I am mid-way through the last day at my soon to be old job. We spent the morning cleaning the store top to bottom in anticipation of out company Christmas party, which is tomorrow evening. It should be fun, with all the owners and their wives in attendance. Plus, and this is the real lure, the guy who manages the other store (in a small town about 90 miles from here) will be there. When he and I get together we usually end up drinking way too much whiskey. Even better, he is a retired Chief of Police, so his stories are just spectacular. Good times!

Tonight I am taking my wife and daughter out to look at Christmas lights around town. My 27 month old just loves checking them out and seems enamored with Christmas in general...except Santa. The mall Santa TERRIFIES her to death. We cannot get within 20 feet or she literally tries to crawl inside your shirt to get away. When you ask her what the problem is, you always get a, "Santa is scary, I don't want to see him." I have no idea why she is like that. To the best of my knowledge there has never been a bad Santa experience.

Before I go, I have to address a request I got in the comments to my last blog. It seems that some people are having withdrawals concerning my crazy car stories. There are a couple I plan to share in the coming weeks, but I thought I could tie up a loose end from one of my more famous tales.

Remember the story about Quandahl, the guy with the tranny problem on his pickup? If not, you need to check out the archives. There are three posts about him and they are totally worth reading. They are surreal and you won't believe how nuts this guy is. Anyway... After all the fuss we went through, the threats, the angry confrontations, the cussing and swearing, Mr. Quandahl calls us up one days and says, "I give up." He told us exactly where the truck was, left the keys in it and everything. We went and got it, cleaned it up, and sold it again. That may be the most anti-climactic ending I have ever seen. I was actually kind of disappointed.

Till next time,
Jeff

Two blog posts in under a month? Crazy world, isn't it?

This coming Friday is my last day in the car biz, hopefully forever. For those that don't know, I am leaving my cozy job to venture into the world of CardRunners on a full time basis. This has been my goal for 12 months, since they originally hired me to be in charge of member activities. In fact, I vividly remember a conversation with then Operations Manager, and very close friend, Zimba where I said , "I plan on being so good that I will leave you no choice but to hire me full time." At the risk of sounding arrogant, I think I may have actually pulled that off.

While the company has moved away from that area and my responsibilities have changed 10-fold, I can honestly say that I could not be more happy with the direction things are going. When I started, my main duty was to help Ezra with member related marketing type stuff. He was/is great to work with and I really enjoyed my time under him. One of the highlights of my time with CR was the weekend he and I spent at a remote Native American gaming casino in Northern Minnesota. He is an amazing person to spend a couple days with.

Once we started to phase out member activities as a promotional tool I had to find a way to make myself useful. So in March/April of this year I started my trek to the top of the forum guru mountain. There was a increased need for somebody to take over the day-to-day moderation and management of the ever busier forums - a byproduct of our skyrocketing membership figures. I dove in head first and have not looked back. Since then I have been put in charge of the coaching forum, helped with numerous projects, and started to assist with the main aspects of customer support.

Fast forward to about six weeks ago and a conversation I had with Lee Jones. We talked about how my role was much different than when I was hired and about the amount of hours I have been putting in. I let him know that I was interested in a move to full time and viola, a couple weeks later I was asked to come on board. I am so thankful that it worked out, because, honestly, it had gotten to a point where I could not continue at my current pace. I had spent the last 3 or 4 months working 70+ hours a week between my two jobs. I was sick of not spending the time I wanted to with my family or ever having some time to myself. I cannot tell you the last time I sat down and played my PS3. It will be amazing to have time to relax again. Oh, and I am chomping at the bit to play me some of teh pokah. It has been 11 months since I played more than 10k hands in a 30 day stretch.

It is important to me to note that I really appreciate the time I spent in and around the car business. I am just worn out on retail. I am tired of people thinking I am a crook. I am sick of the angry and completely irrational customers. I don't want to be lied too any more by people who are convinced I am lying to them. Sure, I'll get some terse emails from members, but I can handle that. It is the day after day grind of retail that I am happy to be done with.

Before I go I do want to thank some people. I know this sounds a bit like an acceptance speech, which is somewhat apropos - I feel like I have won an award by getting the chance to work a regular gig for CR.

Last November Zimba was the guy who emailed me and said, "Apply for this job, it is tailor made for you." If he had not done that, I am sure I would not be working for CR right now. More importantly, I would not have made such a wonderful friend. He is one of the classiest guys I have ever known and I appreciate him more than most people I have known for 10 or more years.

Lee has been a huge influence on me the last several months. From making me a better writer (I suck technically) to teaching me all about customer service, he has been great. If I never work another day for CR, the things I have learned from him will benefit me in whatever direction my career goes. His reputation was bigger than life when he came on board and he has certainly lived up to the hype and then some.*

Taylor, Andrew, and Ezra have all been great to work for. They show a genuine care for their employees and members that I have not seen from any previous business owners/managers. I am more than proud to work for them.*

There are a lot of other people who have done a lot for me and meant a lot to me these last 12 months. I appreciate it more than I can say and look very forward to another 12 months of building on old relationships and forming new ones.

Thanks for listening to my Ezra-esque emo blog (I had to take one shot at SOMEBODY...). I promise to be less sweet and more spicy in the future.

Take care,
Jeff

*Let it be said that I don't kiss ass for the sake of kissing ass. Anybody that knows me, knows that I have one speed: straight ahead. My brain and mouth are on the same plane and my filter is mostly nonexistent (yeah, that gets me in trouble on occasion, but it also gets me respect imo). The point is, what I said about my bosses is the straight shit. Don't get me wrong, if I did not like them, I would not have posted anything (as opposed to calling them ass clowns). The point? When I say something, I mean it. Period.

When we changed blog formats I swore I would not post until the full improvements were finalized. Well, today I broke down because I need to whine a bit.

Wednesday afternoon I started to feel a chill. I was sitting at work and just could not stay warm. Even after putting on my heavy winter coat (Columbia brand...so SUPER warm) and cranking on a space heater as high as it would go, I still sat and shivered.

Once I got home I took my temp and found out I was running a decent fever (~101). My wife reported the same symptoms, so I could not just go to bed and leave her with our daughter. We called my parents who were gracious enough to take her off our hands. I was asleep by 8pm, which is about 6 hours early for me.

I woke up on Thanksgiving about 10am and still felt just brutal. Being the warrior that I am, I bucked up and got ready for the short 20 minute drive to my in-laws. Most people ate a lot, I ate enough to not be starving. Sadly, the food added to my issues. Within 2 hours none of it was in my system anymore.

About 5pm we went to my parents. I played some Euchre and hung out until about 7pm when everybody ate. I was not interested in food, so we went home so I could get to bed. I finished watching the Eagles/Cardinals game, but was asleep by 10pm.

So now I sit at work today, sick as hell. I have been to the bathroom 10 or 11 times since I got here (in 7 hours). I also made the mistake of eating a small lunch. My stomach is currently playing a sloppy version of the 1812 Overture. I am not impressed.

The moral of the story? I am 2 days behind on CR work, starving, still have a fever, feel like throwing up, and my ass is raw. The best part? My wife is out of town tomorrow so I am on daddy duty all alone. Even better? My poor kid is also exhibiting some of the same symptoms, most notable are the frequent bathroom trips.

Ain't life grand?

-Jeff