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What's Your Edge
jeff218's Poker Blog The scenario:
-This past Friday evening my wife Amber and I were at her company Christmas party (yeah, in January).
-The party was at a house, not some restaurant with a large bathroom.
-Amber went to the wash room, or water closet, for readers in their late 90's (please note I was sitting on the davenport, next to the barcalounger).
-About 2 minutes after Amber went to pee, a female co-worker of hers did the same.
-They both returned at the same time.
As they returned from the piss party I said, "Wait a minute, were you in the bathroom together?"
They were incredulous: "Yeah, so?"
No matter how hard I pushed, they refused to see the issue with one of them pissing while the other stood next to them washing their hands. I pressed, "If this is acceptable adult behavior, why does the mall have stalls around the toilets?" What the hell, why not just line up shitters next to cash register at Taco Bell? You could order and drop a deuce all at once. Think of the time you'd save!!!
All I know is that when men are lined up at a urinal, there are two acceptable directions to look:
1. Straight ahead
2. Down
In fact, we go out of our way to NOT look at each others penises. Is this homophobia or is it just polite not to look at another man's manhood? I'll let you decide. The point is, I don't even want my wife in the bathroom when I am pissing, much less a co-worker (sorry Wiggins, but you're out). But apparently women can drop their drawers, squat, lean forward to wipe, then redress themselves, all the while talking about ironing and fingernails with their gal pals.
"It's not like I looked at her vagina."
Well thank freaking god for small favors.
-Jeff
Jan 26, 10 05:03:03
This is the problem, right here.
Surely you've visited Bob's Lesbian Watersports Paradise and sampled the wonders of women together in a toilet?
Clearly this is a wonderous thing that needs to be understood as you say, and even celebrated.
Jan 26, 10 11:10:36
LOL @ Jeff - Straight out of the 50's...
Mine wasn't co-ed, but 52 guys, 3 shower heads in smallish open room (no curtains).
Jan 26, 10 12:51:21
You need to go further into the male public restroom habits... IE:, if there are several empty urinals, do not occupy the one right next to someone who is already pissing etc... I mean, if you have options, you don't want someone to think you decided to piss next to them for some apparent reason...
Jan 26, 10 14:13:30
"It's not like I looked at her vagina."
I'm surprised you didn't answer with "why the f not?"
Jan 26, 10 15:51:59
I love reading what you write, Jeff. I hope the newspaper reconsiders you to post regularly. You should post this imo.
Jan 26, 10 16:29:13
My mother commented to my Facebook about the topic:
"OK, let's settle this once and for all. Women go to the bathroom together to talk; or they go at the same time because they have to "go" at the same time. Not that big a deal, either way. Because we spend far less time (like none) obsessing about the relative size/appearance/whatever of our--ahem--"lady parts" than ...men do about their man parts, we don't actually care where our friends are looking at the time--and our friends, meanwhile, are not pointedly looking SOMEWHERE ELSE (to wit, "Straight ahead" or "Down") because they don't care either. It's not a weird experience for us because we don't make it one. I think it would be good to see a woman blog about why men do not go to the bathroom together; but all the women I know are busy thinking about other things. And we already know."
My reply to her:
"Why not walk around with your cooters hanging out if it is no biggie that other ppl see it? This is simply about keeping private bits and pieces, you know, private."
Jan 26, 10 18:27:45
Just fyi, I do not want pictures of your mom's cooter hanging out. Also, if you are a guy and you say a single word from the time you enter a mens room to the time you leave, know that you are making everyone else unconfortable and you need to stop doing that.
Just remembered this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKQVpK6fVc0
Jan 26, 10 18:51:56
@ verneer - Our mom is a good mother. She also happens to be right!
It's not like we are going to the bathroom with complete random people (which is why walking around with our cooters out is not a good comparison).
What I don't get about women going to the bathroom together are the ones that CAN'T go alone. I have a friend that will get angry with whichever of us she asks to go to the bathroom and we say, "No, I don't have to go..."
Jan 26, 10 19:29:51
LBMiller10 first time I read your 2nd sentence I read: She also happens to be tight! freaking experience :P
Jan 26, 10 23:18:40
You just reminded me that I took some philosophy course when I was an undergrad at Georgetown called "American Masculinity" NOTE: Do not choose a college course based on the fact that Dennis Rodman's and a couple of other sports biographies were on the reading list. The raging lesbian who ended up teaching this course did this whole week on the design of men's bathrooms with the basic theory that men have urinals next to each other without dividers most of the time as a way to reaffirm their heterosexuality. By conforming to the "look down" or "look ahead" culture you are reaffirming your masculinity every time you take a piss by making a conscious choice not to look at wang. What a crazy ass bitch that lady was. I wrote my final paper on Gangbang porn focusing on anal and cumshots and got an A-. Highest grade of any dude in the class. College was awesome.
Jan 27, 10 02:39:59
Its pretty simple actually. Women go to the bathroom together because they can.
Its also perfectly ok for women to kiss each other and experiment without worrying about being gay.
Jan 29, 10 15:24:08
wtf is this? i was expecting about a story about .... girls pissing together in the same touilet. not one girl pissing while the other washes her hands.
what you described isn't weirder than two men pissing next to each other in a public toilet.
or do you think a girl's genetalia or whatever is more obscene than a man's?
Jan 30, 10 05:43:51
I can't tell you how many times I have been at a party(not a work party) and some chick I barely know has pissed right in front of me(I am a male) in the bathroom. I have also seen many girls squat down in a parking lot and take a piss right in front of me and others when there were no bathrooms around. In fact I stumbled across a picture of one of these occasions in some of my old photos the other day.
Some chicks just don't a fack once they have a few cocktails in them.
Feb 1, 10 09:27:38
Man I haven't thought about saved by the bell in a minute. Thanks for the laugh!
Feb 4, 10 04:21:58
Lol @ you american pple why does this shock you so much? I think the thought of this kind of a thing excites me to be honest... :)
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Aberdeen, South Dakota
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