CARDRUNNERS

I've often wondered about my parent's take on the whole poker lifestyle.  This weekend's New York Times Sunday Magazine offers some insight, in a piece written by Lucy Ferriss entitled "My Son's Gamble."

I think that Professor Ferriss' piece is one of the most heart wrenching stories ever written about poker, far more so than Martha Frankel's "Hats and Eyeglasses."  In this Sunday's piece, Ferriss admits to hacking into her son's virtual poker accounts, changing his passwords, and ultimately coming to terms with his vocational desires.

The article got me thinking deeply about my own parents' struggle with the world of online poker.  I detailed extensively in "How Poker Saved My Life" why I'm thankful for the journey that poker has afforded me.  But at the same time, my parents were rarely privvy to my emotional growth.  In their minds, my NYU education had yielded me a lifestyle of card playing.  And while they were impressed when my salary surpassed theirs, I have to imagine they continue to wonder what I'd be capable of if I focused my energies towards social entrepreneurship, charitable endeavors, or other social good.  I know that they've come to terms with my short term goals - but do they still worry about my long-term future?

And, even more so, what were those first two years like for them?  When I chose not to enter the work force after graduating college - choosing instead a lifestyle of professional poker.  They never doubted my ability to win.  But I wonder if they doubted my abilited to think properly.  How could a boy with so much potential for good dedicate his life to a game of cards?  Does one have an obligation to social good?  I have mixed feelings.  But, more specifically, do I have an obligation to social good?  Absolutely.  And, if I have one lasting regret, it's that my grandfather passed away in June of 2008, before I was able to fully showcase my full arsenal of talents.   

On the Two Plus Two forums, Professor Ferriss has received considerable criticism.  I'm sympathetic to both sides of the story.  While my parents never succumbed to an invasion of my privacy, I have to imagine they secretly wondered if I wasn't losing grip with my own sanity.  And while my parents treated my lifestyle choice with a great deal of respect, Ferriss was a single mother - watching her connection with her son slip away at a lightening pace.  Thinking back even to 2007, I can recall on several occasions my father coming downstairs at 6:30 AM only to meet me still grinding, ten hours later, after five figure losses.  What could have possibly been going through his head?  Was his son out of control?  I can only imagine how worried he must've been.  I don't blame Ms. Ferriss.  And I don't think any young adult can be fully cognizant of the struggle our parents go through when faced with the reality of poker. 

As we continue to grow up, mature and develop, I hope that we continue to be extraordinarily appreciative of those parents who've given us the space, independence, and freedom to venture out on our own journeys.  While I'm confident that in ten years, very few of our lives will continue to be consumed by the game of poker, I know that the experiences we've had in this world will stay with us forever.

Till next time,
Ezra Moses